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Dear you,

This past week has been an experience.... in a lot of ways. The new places, new sights, sounds, people, food, cultures all was alot to take in and was fun. The strangest thing was how the past never leaves you and creeps up on you in the most unexpected of manners. I always thought that if you traveled far away you can leave your past behind. but in this maze of time and matter fragments of our past often travel ahead of us and meet us in the future. Both London and Oxford had that connection in either people or places or activities. Both at times brought back the familiar muddle of emotions and feelings and thoughts which has been erased from your mind by time and gets suddenly refreshed totally out of context in some literally foreign place.

Oddly also, i never felt like i was in a foreign place in any of the legs of my trip. it was a very comfortable and cozy trip. i felt at peace in discovering the new places. it almost became a metaphor to me discovering myself and through that my peace of mind. I havent been soul searching for a while and the new place provided the impetus to do it and thankfully at a right time.

As is normal, somethings came to an end, new dreams were born, old ones refueled, some relationships became stronger, some stayed the same.... it was just 10 days of my life but it felt like a lifetime somedays and somedays as short as a blink of an eye. i'll carry the memories very close to my heart for long time to come.

to hopefully many more such times to come... cheers!

best,

A

Introspection

i had oppurtunity to read my old posts from before and all i can say is which world was i living in??

those were sad times indeed but such different things affect me now.............. guess law school has made me grow into a different person. and all that 'Character Building' then has paid off.

one feels so much at peace after clarifying things out and laughing on common jokes. me and the sis had a heart to heart. no more walking on egg shells. its so simple to sort things out its amazing. and there are some people who are up there in ure list and they go incommunicado sometimes (also due to my inability to keep up long distance communications) but its like riding a bike u dont forget. companiable silence is a prized thing with only a few in life and its worth preserving.

being ill all these days has made me introspective..... cant sleep the whole day.... cant talk sound like a construction site (though it still is a pretty tough job shutting me up) i resorted to reading and thinking.
the oddest thing happened... nothing was working out and everything felt hopeless plus confined to the bed with fever isnt exactly pleasant resting experience so desperate times call for desperate measures thus i resorted to my all time favourite book for solace. and oddly a paragraph that i dont ever remember reading in my multiple readings i found that was exactly my thoughts in print.

it was amazing i jumped out of bed grabbed a pencil marked the lines- that itself for me is a very extreme step as i hate mutilating my books but this was a miracle in short. then i grabbed my laptop and wrote till i felt better.

it felt oddly ............... oh man miraculous it was like a message from the 19th century written just for me meant to be read only on that fated day on the fated fowl mood. lol!!! okay i may be having viral delirium but it seemed bloody fantastic at that time.

to quote the MATRIX coincidence- providence more likely.

it brightened my day made me realize that people are a bunch of idiots who u cant rely upon but BOOKS DONT FAIL... the next morning the rant sounds extremely childish and even mildly humourous but then writing was catharsis.

a lot of things have happened since morning- eventful- feel better the flu is getting better.
calmer now with things being sorted out. feel light like i could fly if i just jumped of the ledge.

and then i began the reading of my old posts and like always didnt fail to embarass myself. ah BOYZONE good lord!!!
daniel beddingfield i never liked him those must have been real dark days.

i am happy......... i am home... i am happy at home woohoo!!
okay too many distractions cant keep single thread of though